Melissa March Corrine Sandstrom September 12, 2005 Peer Review #2 Notecards
All elements are denoted into seperate sections, however they are not numbered. The individual notecards are numbered.
The 'Introduction' element is supposed to be a quote form the source that is used. Although a point is given, it is not derived from a quote in the source and the arguement therefore cannot be such that it is explanatory of quote usage. I think that the summary section is confused with the introduction, the summary is the quote an the introduction is used to explain the quote has been presented. Just switch the two.
Notecard #1: In the summary in addition to saying that the characters are marked by sin you can mention that they are defined by it, if that is appropriate to your thesis. You're mainly mentioning the lack of remorse held by the adulterers in your point, so you may want to reshape the topic sentence to reflect that. Your point is well said, you may just want to incorporate some of it into the topic sentence and some of your current topic sentence into your point.
Notecard #2: Your point is a good one, but maybe you would like to somewhat expound on it further than you have. There is a lot that could be added to this statement to give it reinforcement and enhace your overall paper.
Notecard #3: You may want to bring in the fact that 'scarlet woman' and 'babylon' are biblical references and how this is relevant to the society which you are examining in your paper. Good point, by the pastor proclaiming her sins he is committing those of his own. Hypocracy comes into play, most definately in a highly religious society. The topic sentence and point are well correlated.
1 Comments:
Melissa March
Corrine Sandstrom
September 12, 2005
Peer Review #2
Notecards
All elements are denoted into seperate sections, however they are not numbered. The individual notecards are numbered.
The 'Introduction' element is supposed to be a quote form the source that is used. Although a point is given, it is not derived from a quote in the source and the arguement therefore cannot be such that it is explanatory of quote usage. I think that the summary section is confused with the introduction, the summary is the quote an the introduction is used to explain the quote has been presented. Just switch the two.
Notecard #1: In the summary in addition to saying that the characters are marked by sin you can mention that they are defined by it, if that is appropriate to your thesis. You're mainly mentioning the lack of remorse held by the adulterers in your point, so you may want to reshape the topic sentence to reflect that. Your point is well said, you may just want to incorporate some of it into the topic sentence and some of your current topic sentence into your point.
Notecard #2: Your point is a good one, but maybe you would like to somewhat expound on it further than you have. There is a lot that could be added to this statement to give it reinforcement and enhace your overall paper.
Notecard #3: You may want to bring in the fact that 'scarlet woman' and 'babylon' are biblical references and how this is relevant to the society which you are examining in your paper. Good point, by the pastor proclaiming her sins he is committing those of his own. Hypocracy comes into play, most definately in a highly religious society. The topic sentence and point are well correlated.
Notecard #4: Well done.
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