Reviewer: Melissa March Student: Jason Lombard December 11, 2005 Conclusion Peer Review 6
Thesis Restated: The first sentence seems to be out of order, the meaning being that the economic problems hated each other rather then the ethnic groups hating each other. You may want to make it something like “Both…Caucasians” “whose….other” caused economic problems and “split…two.”
Further Significance: Clear and well stated. Displays clearly what the significance of the created problem is.
Remaining Ignorance: Easily understood, and leads well into the ‘additional research’ section of the conclusion.
Additional Research: A grammatical error: cottons, remove the ‘s.’
Coda: Also led into coda, similar structure to prelude, and from the same individual and linked to book to display relevance, creating congruity in the paper from beginning to end. Instead of “regardless of equality” as the last words, perhaps you would like to substitute “making issues of equality irrelevant.” Just a suggestion, what you have may be suited well to the rest of your paper’s content.
1 Comments:
Reviewer: Melissa March
Student: Jason Lombard
December 11, 2005
Conclusion
Peer Review 6
Thesis Restated: The first sentence seems to be out of order, the meaning being that the economic problems hated each other rather then the ethnic groups hating each other. You may want to make it something like “Both…Caucasians” “whose….other” caused economic problems and “split…two.”
Further Significance: Clear and well stated. Displays clearly what the significance of the created problem is.
Remaining Ignorance: Easily understood, and leads well into the ‘additional research’ section of the conclusion.
Additional Research: A grammatical error: cottons, remove the ‘s.’
Coda: Also led into coda, similar structure to prelude, and from the same individual and linked to book to display relevance, creating congruity in the paper from beginning to end. Instead of “regardless of equality” as the last words, perhaps you would like to substitute “making issues of equality irrelevant.” Just a suggestion, what you have may be suited well to the rest of your paper’s content.
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